Two words....ROLLER COASTER!!!

All I say is phew.... This may be part informational and part "vent" session. SOOO much has happened over the past 2 months. Three emergency hospital stays for me, long recovery, difficulty keeping food due to the abdominal surgery, Aiden being in NICU and a nice case of post-partum!

I will say regarding the post-partum, I am GLAD I asked for help. I knew I didn't feel like myself and know it is nothing to be ashamed of...just something I get to work through...which isn't so bad. Life will hand you lemons every now and then and I am the process of learning how to make lemonade. It is not always easy...especially for Mike..though I swear God has sent him to me as an angel without wings. He, outside of God, has been my rock through this entire experience. I have fallen more in love with him than ever before. God definitely knew what He was doing when He made us for each other.

Now onto the latest. Yesterday, I went to the hospital to labor and delivery and NICU and brought pictures of Aiden and said hello to everyone. It was a way of getting me out of the house. (still move kind of slowly as my body is still every much in recovery...especially with eating no fat or dairy...been weak). I went to leave and saw Mike had called 20 minutes prior, so I called him back. He said, "Are you still at the hospital? If so, don't leave. Aiden turned blue around his eyes and mouth and I had to call 911 and the paramedics are here. We may be bringing him in." If it weren't for God giving me peace, I might have lost it! Soon after, I got the call that they were transporting him to the hospital and Mike was in the ambulance and for me to meet them where the ambulance will pull up.

Aiden came in and of course I then let my tears start to flow. He looked very lethargic and was blue where Mike had said. They took him into the ER. [On a light note, every single person, nurse and patient that walked by turned into little kids when they saw how cute he was. They aren't used to tiny babies in the ER.] We would pick up his arm and it would just flop down. He was extremely lethargic, pale and not moving very much. I felt numb. I mean, hello...4th ER visit in 2 months and now it was my precious son!

The NICU nurse came down and put an IV in him and took some blood for tests. To make a long story short, the nurses were busy with a lot of patients, so I took the reigns and asked when he could be fed, because he was now 2 hours past feeding time. Of course there had been a shift change and Aiden was kind of lost in the crowd of folks. The doc said he could eat, so I hustled (probably, not the best seeing as I was weak, but didn't care) before anyone could stop me, to NICU to get him some food. They said their nurse was waiting for the ER doc to call and I said the ER doc was waiting for her to call. Hello?!!! Anyway, me pushing the food got them on it and they said they were going to admit Aiden for 48 hours into NICU for observation and maybe antibiotics since the tests came back normal. I thought, "Normal?!" When a child turns blue, there is nothing normal/healthy about that.

We reluctantly left to come home last night and get some rest (which by the way we didn't. Mike and I both slept awful thinking about little guy). I called the nurse before bed and she explained everything. She said Aiden's red blood count was in the 20's instead of between 45-50 so he wasn't getting much oxygen. Finally....something that made sense! They are in the process now (or in the next few hours) of deciding whether to give him a blood transfusion. That will make him feel better, but said he could relapse again. Geezz..... They said they'll explain everything to us before he is ever discharged so we know what to look for. I will tell you one thing...this has most definitely kept me on my knees. God has been a great source of strength and has used so many people to wrap their arms around us. I think we just feel shell shocked and numb at the same time. Mike and I have had our share of trials lately (who doesn't), but we know it will get better. So with that...here's some pics.

Aiden said his first word. I was holding him for a few hours and thought maybe I should put him back in his crib so I could get up and walk around. Mike went to pick him up and he screamed, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" with his hands gripped to my shirt. We both laughed, and Mike put him back on my chest. He felt right to sleep. He just wanted his mommy!

A cute picture of Mike holding Aiden.

Now, for those of you who know Mike well, doesn't this seem like he is in heaven? A loving son on his chest while reading a book. I couldn't resist. It was too cute.

This is from last night when Aiden went back into NICU. I was amazed that he has WAVY hair!

This is our precious baby as he was beginning to get taken care of in NICU last night. He is looking more and more like a newborn every day. SOOO precious!!